2025 Year In Review: La La Land

All podcasts are video now.

I began writing this after a relentless 24 hours of miserable news. Another mass shooting on a college campus, a massacre of Australian Jews on the first night of Hanukkah, the stabbing deaths of legendary Hollywood director Rob Reiner and his wife, Michelle, in their home, by their adult son. The barrage of bad news in a concentrated period is not unlike the rest of this year, which started with my home of Los Angeles ablaze on the West side and the East side, in the mountains and along the coast. Elon Musk dismantled global food and medical aid like he was just dusting off dirt from his shoulder, and hundreds of thousands of children are dying as a result. And by summer, we were the first of many cities to face brutal ICE raids and effectively, kidnappings, and occupied by National Guard troops, sent by a president who views more than half this country and its millions of immigrants as his enemies.

In the midst of all this misery we still have jobs to do and bills to pay and children to raise. Compared to last year’s recap, this one feels decidedly more dreary. We’re in this time of both frequent natural disaster and self-inflicted national crisis (how is there still no meaningful gun control, it’s a known public health epidemic)!

One of my responses this year has been to create more art and try and make an impact and better connects people or deepens understanding. In the pursuit of generative work, I’ve enjoyed a very “LA” year, both spending more time living here and not traveling as much, and engaging in its entertainment industry. I went to the Oscars for the first time, finished writing the screenplay version of FLAWLESS (though it later died in development, and have spent more than 30 days on location, co-directing a documentary. It features four kids who either lost their homes or were displaced by January’s fires. They range in age from 12 to 17, and I’ve essentially taken on four other kids this year to text with and check up on, in order to embed with their families for mundanities and milestones. By this time next year, I hope we will have a finished film — WINDSWEPT. We need help funding it, so pitch in if you can.

Directing WINDSWEPT on Christmas Tree Lane, Altadena

And without further yapping, herewith a recap of my 2025.

Favorite Creator of the Year: Luke Holloway, the guy who turns awkward Tinder conversations into smash hit songs, none of which were bigger than “I have one daughter,” (no shade to K-Pop Demon Hunters)

Favorite Interview of the Year: Pooh Bear, the prolific music producer known for hits with Justin Bieber, among many many others. While we were on stage, he took a concept from the crowd and straight up wrote a hook and post-hook for it within three minutes, then challenged the AI tool Suno to do the same, “in the style of Poo Bear.” And right there on stage we all felt the ineffable quality of humanness in the actual human’s song, showing that at least for now, AI is still pretty mid. CLOSE SECOND: Stacey Abrams, who revealed how much she loves the Amazon TV show, Reacher.

New Places: The Narrows in Zion National Park, Jacksonville, Deadwood, SD, the Angeles National Forest

Favorite Films: Sinners, Rental Family, Splitsville

Firsts: Attending the Oscars, speaking at the Met, TED Talk launch, hosting a podcast for the BBC, pitching networks on my documentary, finishing a screenplay and getting paid for it, a Luchador show in Mexico City, inducing dog vomiting, finding a dead bird in my bed that the cat brought in.

Nerdiest Accomplishment: I won $10 in a category of my tennis pool. We bet on the four majors by picking players seeded 1-10, 11-20 and an unseeded player and see how they fare.

Live Show of the Year: Labiahead, the all-woman Radiohead tribute band featuring Lena TKTK and Charlene Kaye, who is also…

New Friend of the Year: Charlene Kaye. She’s a comedian and musician … a musical comedian. We met through my book, Flawless. She read it and reached out over Instagram, we became Instagram-friendly for a couple years, and this year I pitched her for a TED Talk and in November, she absolutely brought the house down as she closed out TEDNext with her performance-slash-talk that I cannot wait to share once it’s released. CLOSE SECOND: Jena Friedman, another uproariously funny comedian whose hourlong special, MotherF*cker, is a must-see if you can get a ticket.

Most Thrilling Sport Match/Game of the Year: It’s a tie between Game Seven of the World Series and the Men’s Final of the French Open, a grueling five-hour slugfest in which Carlos Alcaraz clawed his way back from two (or was it three) Championship points to best his rival Jannik Sinner,

And in no particular order, this year I:

Joined a hip new coworking space
Started filling in on KCRW’s Press Play
Became the mom of a teen
Covered the costliest natural disaster in global history
Fostered a cat fire survivor
Started filming a documentary
Joined the board of the Birthday Party Project
Hosted a medical podcast
Began hosting a weekly parenting podcast
Twice endured a live mouse in my house that the cat dragged in
Sat in the very front row of the Hollywood Bowl, something all should experience
Saw so much live music: Nelly, Ja Rule, Eve, KC of KC and Jojo, Keith “Babyface” Edmonds, Labiahead, Samora Pinderhughes and the Healing Project Choir, Joshua Bell and the Chamber Orchestra of America
Went to Mexico City with friends for my birthday, got violently ill, then had to endure a full body massage while having the chills and on the precipice of explosive diarrhea at any moment
Got my book and my podcast shouted out (on separate occassions) in the NY Times
Saw the Japanese edition of my book hit shelves
Got sharked by Mark Cuban for a speaking engagement
Decided to shut down our small business started with my girlfriends
Moved in with my man, well, actually, he moved in with us
Won a $35,000 grant for our documentary
Spent a countless number of hours in volleyball gyms and on soccer sidelines, as two out of three of my girls are on travel teams
Ran 149 miles, still way down from my COVID-era highs, but played a lot of tennis
Read 33 books
Wrote 25 newsletter dispatches
Flew 38,097 miles to 25 cities, three countries and spent 66 days away from home

PREVIOUS YEARS IN REVIEW

2024 | 2023 | 2022|2021|2020 |2019 | 2018 | 2017 |  2016 | 2015 | 2014 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010|2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004

My TED Talk

GAAAH I can’t help myself, I’m just going to say it: Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. It’s about the ways that technology changes how we see ourselves. It’s something I’ve been exploring for years now, both in my reporting, and in my book, Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital. What does it mean when we so often see ourselves through the lens of our phones or computers? What if the way we look in the real world somehow feels less real or doesn’t live up to the image we have of ourselves in our digital life? Here’s the talk, which gets at these questions.

I Heart LA

The skies are clear today, making the contrast between the giant plumes of smoke out my window so striking against blue skies.

My home is in on LA’s Westside near the coast, but not in a canyon or the hills, which are the two types of places most threatened by the multiple fires that broke out this week. The cause of these fires is under investigation, but we know they are fueled by those unpredictable Santa Ana winds. Of those winds, I’m reminded of Joan Didion’s writing, in Slouching Towards Bethlehem:

“It is hard for people who have not lived in Los Angeles to realize how radically the Santa Ana figures in the local imagination. The city burning is Los Angeles’s deepest image of itself. Nathaniel West perceived that, in The Day of the Locust, and at the time of the 1965 Watts riots what struck the imagination most indelibly were the fires. For days one could drive the Harbor Freeway and see the city on fire, just as we had always known it would be in the end. Los Angeles weather is the weather of catastrophe, of apocalypse, and, just as the reliably long and bitter winters of New England determine the way life is lived there, so the violence and the unpredictability of the Santa Ana affect the entire quality of life in Los Angeles, accentuate its impermanence, its unreliability. The winds shows us how close to the edge we are.”

On Monday, my friend Morgan and I were eating lunch out on a patio, soaking in the beautiful weather and feeling guilty that we had it so good in LA, while so much of the rest of the country was buried under snow and sleet. (Morgan is now out on fire lines reporting for NBC News.)

By Tuesday, winds had shifted and picked up so fast that the speed of spreading wildfires was measured in miles per hour. On that day, the largest of the many fires in LA county, the Palisades Fire, burned to ashes the neighborhood where my partner Rob and his family grew up. The humans are safe, but so much property is wiped out. The post office where his sister mailed her college applications. Where they bought their Thanksgiving turkey every year. Where they rode their bikes. (Rob’s sister Joanna wrote heart-wrenchingly of this, for The New York Times.)

Below is video of the Palisades Village part of Pacific Palisades, on Tuesday night at sunset.

On Wednesday morning, I awoke to a message asking whether I could be on Morning Edition in 20 minutes. Before I went to sleep the night before, I had reached out to my old colleagues at NPR on the national desk, which is the desk that springs into action in a disaster. By the time I woke up, the editors of this metastasizing story were hungry for more coverage and I frankly felt relieved to be able to pitch in to contribute. So far, between a near constant stream of spot news dispatched, I’ve reported on folks who lost their homes in Pasadena and the Palisades, and the extraordinary volunteer effort to aid during this disaster.

Thursday the girls were all home from school, as their classes were canceled. We held a morning meeting as a family to discuss how to help. Eva suggested fostering kitties, because she is a cat person. Luna suggested making sandwiches for those in need, which is something we do for displaced people at other times during the year. Our most anxious child, Isa said, “WHAT ABOUT US?! What if WE need to evacuate and our house burns down?” By evening, we had made the sack lunches for Covenant House, a shelter for displaced young people, and I delivered them to K-town since I was reporting in that neighborhood anyway. Seeing the outpouring of donations and community come together in this crisis moved me deeply; I love Los Angeles, I love all its shapes and sizes and colors and the faith folks have in this place and each other.

Volunteers at the Koreatown YMCA on Thursday

And folks on Instagram got us in touch with a woman in the Palisades who lost her home and needed to find shelter for their eight cats. Now we have Minx, a fire victim and evacuee, at our house.

Palisades Fire evacuee temporarily at the Hu house.

Friday, thanks to enduring relationships with NPR producers, Janet W. Lee, who happened to be in town, mixed our K-town piece while I tried to keep the kids occupied, as schools remain closed. By evening, Rob’s mom, who thought she was okay to head back to her Brentwood house, had to heed the warnings to stay out of the mandatory evacuation zone, for the officials had instituted a dusk to dawn curfew, which remains in effect.

What a year this week has been. There is no one in this county of 10 million that doesn’t know someone who lost everything. The scale of this disaster will change this special place forever. We count ourselves among the fortunate ones. Still cozy, in our own homes, with our creatures, and with all the food and water and power we need. Please consider giving to these aid organizations, which my friend and fellow Angeleno Chris Duffy shared this morning:

2024 in Review: Nonstop Nonsense

We all had matching flight suits, which led to some real confusion for the people of Carbondale, Illinois after we landed at a tiny airport and deplaned with giant speakers and a deejay from the Norwegian woods, playing harmonica.

It was the year of brat summer, calling things weird, and being very mindful/very demure. The Dodgers won the World Series. TikTok faces an imminent ban. Kamala Harris enjoyed a flawless campaign rollout after Joe Biden’s catastrophic debate, not that it made any difference in the election outcome. US election results marked the full realization of the cultural shift toward woman-hating, with a electoral college AND popular vote win returning Donald J Trump to office. So here we are. An entire movement based on sneering at other people and whipping up reactive resentment will soon be in charge, again. The manosphere is no longer the extremist counterculture, it is culture. What are men are capable of when the rules don’t apply to them and their actions have no consequences? We’re going to see how that works on a global scale, as the US is but one of the modern democracies turning toward plutocratic wannabe authoritarians.

And I have never felt so demoralized about traditional journalism. Institutions are losing audiences and trust, newspaper owners kiss up to Trump, and the structural problem persists: paying for the work of deep and accurate reporting is only increasingly expensive, while creating a sprawling alternative information ecosystem from influencers is cheaper, and can demonstrably shift opinions.

As we make the turn to 2025, I feel dread about the macro forces globally and confusion about what I’m supposed to do, individually. 2024 was a year marked by upheavals in politics, culture, and technology, which led me to turn toward the personal. On that front, this past year was chock full of gifts. We got a puppy. The girls are growing up strong and sassy and finding their specialties. Luna’s playing soccer seriously enough to join a club team, Isa is now dancing in the company, and Eva has become a working actor and premiered in her first regular cast member role in a show on BratTV. I love watching them blossom and delight in the magic that moves through them. For me, so many stretches of 2024 felt like I was on perma-vacation — I cosplayed as a gentlelady of leisure and went so many places and experienced so many things, thanks to generous friends who hosted us or invited us to unforgettable locales for sun, skiing, speaking and general mischief. I fell down the lucky tree and hit every branch.

Best gift: A Little Free Library for my front yard, gifted by Rob, assembled and installed by Justin, painted by me and Eva. Runner up: The kitty izakaya.

Favorite Film(s): Challengers, Anora

Favorite TED Talks: Amy Kurzweil on how she connected with her past, and Gaya Herrington on why poverty and pollution persist when the world’s getting richer.

Firsts: Solar eclipse. Acupuncture. Capybaras in real life. Getting paid as a screenwriter. Giving a TED talk. Eating water buffalo brain and spine. Ziplining over Mexican jungles. Indian Wells tennis tournament. Getting my book translated into a different language (Polish edition came out). Reselling clothes online. Snake River float trip. Meeting two-week-old puppies. Officiating a wedding.

Disappointments: The 2024 presidential election. A slow year for Reasonable Volume. Getting non-refundable tickets to Paris and canceling. Getting creamed by a speeding cyclist, while we were on foot. Spilling iced tea on the same laptop that I already spilled iced tea on last year. The collapse of the journalism industry. Saltburn.

New cities: Bozeman and Big Sky, Montana. Kathmandu and Bhaktapur, Nepal. Sedona, Arizona.

Most Absurd Incident: We caught the most majestic solar eclipse from a clear spot in the path of totality, after being flown to Carbondale, Illinois in a private plane charter. But then locals confused our group for a cult because we were all wearing matching flight suits.

Interviews That Will Stay With Me: Tressie McMillan Cottom. Glynnic MacNichol. Emily Amick on civic involvement as true self care. Lyn Slater about how expansive and fulfilling growing older is. Meaghan Keane on the bias against single people and how to reframe it.

Favorite Podcast Episodes I Went On: Vibe Check, Normal Gossip, Apple News in Conversation

Yassss!

Favorite Selfie(s): MONICA LEWINSKY!

Nerdiest Accomplishment: A tween (who isn’t my own) judging me as a “cool mom.”

Hu Hideaway Guests: Steve Boyle. Jean Lee. Jake Adelstein. Mari, briefly. Justin. Patrick and Carlos. Matt and Bryan.

Purchases and practices that fed me:

  • Just Ice Tea Peach Oolong
  • The cultural writing of The Atlantic’s Sophie Gilbert
  • This no chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipe
  • Hosting friends in my guest house, aka, “The Hu Hideaway”

And in no particular order, this year I…

Officiated a wedding!
Dislocated my shoulder (again, so this is the third time now)
Slept the best sleep of my life, at a resort in Santa Barbara
Caught food in my mouth at Benihana on the first try
Organized a community coat drive and collected 400 coats, thank y’all for donating!
Started hosting a new podcast, Forever35
Wrote my screenplay treatment and outline
Spoke on a panel with Donna Karan in the front row, just casually taking it all in
Endured birds flying into my house on two (2!) separate occasions, triggering me to freak out and call for friends to come over and chase them back outside
Spent countless hours on set, set-sitting for my working actor daughter
Spent countless hours on the sidelines, soccer-momming Luna
Spoke in San Francisco, Michigan, Hawaii, Boston, Nepal, New York, Atlanta, Dallas, and LA (a few times)
Saw so much live comedy: Morgan Jay. Ali Wong. Sheng Wang. Morgan Jay 2x more. The funny people who opened for them, whose names I don’t recall.
Appeared on 17 podcasts (including three of them I host)
Read 35 books (not counting kid ones), reviewed two of them and recommended a third
Attended one wedding and one bat mitzvah: Vallejo (Matt and Bryan) and San Francisco (Franny’s Bat Mitzvah)
Ran 94.2 miles (a five year low) but played a lot of tennis
Wrote 23 newsletter dispatches
Reunited with my brother and parents in Taipei to celebrate the holidays
Flew 88,799 miles to 25 cities, seven countries and spent 106 days away from home

PREVIOUS YEARS IN REVIEW

2023 | 2022|2021|2020 |2019 | 2018 | 2017 |  2016 | 2015 | 2014 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010|2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004

Capybara IRL

Alternate Realities

“This reality-fracturing is the result of an information ecosystem that is dominated by platforms that offer financial and attentional incentives to lie and enrage, and to turn every tragedy and large event into a shameless content-creation opportunity. This collides with a swath of people who would rather live in an alternate reality built on distrust and grievance than change their fundamental beliefs about the world. ” —Charlie Warzel, in The Atlantic

Reprinting here what I put out to my Substack newsletter, Hu’s Letter, this morning.

This edition is gonna be a little different from the usual fare, given we’re headed into another four years of a Trump administration! I am not going to share poetry because all the poetry being passed around in the wake of the decisive re-election of criminal/con man/rapist/racist/dumb dumb Donald J. Trump has somehow made processing the grim reality we’re in harder for me. Instead, this particular TikTok worked better on me, h/t Friend Doree:

Speaking of TikTok… imho the single most important thing to understand about this election is a tech/culture story. It’s the complete realignment of cultural power away from “trad media” and toward right-leaning or extreme right podcasters and influencers. The story of the 2024 election is that of political technology.

Heather Cox Richardson sets it up this way, emphasis mine:

[Racism and sexism] were amplified by the flood of disinformation that has plagued the U.S. for years now. Russian political theorists called the construction of a virtual political reality through modern media “political technology.” They developed several techniques in this approach to politics, but the key was creating a false narrative in order to control public debate. These techniques perverted democracy, turning it from the concept of voters choosing their leaders into the concept of voters rubber-stamping the leaders they had been manipulated into backing.

In the U.S., pervasive right-wing media, from the Fox News Channel through right-wing podcasts and YouTube channels run by influencers, have permitted Trump and right-wing influencers to portray the booming economy as “failing” and to run away from the hugely unpopular Project 2025. They allowed MAGA Republicans to portray a dramatically falling crime rate as a crime wave and immigration as an invasion. They also shielded its audience from the many statements of Trump’s former staff that he is unfit for office…

We all ignore Joe Rogan and the manosphere to our peril. When I say manosphere, I mean the algorithmic amplification/reinforcement of a right wing fictional universe (via small batch Substacks and Rumble, up through podcasters and YouTubers, OANN, Fox News). It is a mirror industry of social media platforms built specifically to amplify right wing voices and cannot be ignored, because it lures in apolitical/typically fence-sitting participants, notably any man under 30 who has a hobby:

I want to point you to a few useful follows and pieces that are clarifying. Because yes white dudes broke for Trump (as they have before). But Kamala Harris also underperformed with almost every kind of young person: young white women, young Black voters, and young Latinos. And Democrats will never claw their way back to power without understanding how a powerful disinformation infrastructure works to advantage billionaires and what they want. Links and follows:

The so-called Breitbart Doctrine stated that “politics is downstream from culture”—that is, the ideas conveyed by popular entertainment shapes consumers’ worldviews. This proposition called for conservatives to build a shadow Hollywood that tells conservative stories and raises up conservative stars (Duck Dynasty’s un-P.C. patriarch, Phil Robertson, won an award named for Breitbart in 2015). In the long run, though, the doctrine’s biggest impact has been encouraging the right to get creative with online culture.

They instead built that “shadow Hollywood” where it really matters: not in film and TV, but online.

“This imbalance when it comes to online influence is no accident. It is the result of massive structural disadvantages in funding, promotion, and institutional support. And understanding why Democrats can’t (or really won’t) cultivate an equivalent independent media ecosystem that rivals what the right has built is crucial for anyone who hopes to ever see the Democrats back into power…

Leftist channels do not receive widespread financial backing from billionaires or large institutional donors, primarily because leftist content creators support policies that are completely at odds with what billionaires want.

Left leaning influencers argue for things like higher taxes on the rich, regulations on corporations, and policies that curb the power of elites. Wealthy mega donors aren’t going to start pouring money into a media ecosystem that directly contradicts their own financial interests.”

tl;dr I think it is futile to analyze any of the 17,000 campaign tactics or strategies or decisions that could have gone differently. The key factor in 2024 was the strength of a fictional cinematic universe that holds extreme sway among young people and men in America (and frankly, more and more in other parts of the world as well).

Now What?

The Washington Post has this great long read from 2023 on responding to the “crisis of masculinity,” writing:

If the right has overcorrected to an old-fashioned (and somewhat hostile) vision of masculinity, many progressives have ignored the opportunity to sell men on a better vision of what they can be.

George Conway, writing in The Atlantic, says our one hope is Trump’s incompetence:

He represents everything we should aspire not to be, and everything we should teach our children not to emulate. The only hope is that he’s utterly incompetent, and even that is a double-edged sword, because his incompetence often can do as much as harm as his malevolence. His government will be filled with corrupt grifters, spiteful maniacs, and morally bankrupt sycophants, who will follow in his example and carry his directives out, because that’s who they are and want to be.

Okay, before the next Trump administration starts, Brian Beutler, writing in Off Message, offers another glimmer.

“Is there any reason not to despair entirely?

One source of hope is that the future is unwritten.”

Finally, paraphrasing Elizabeth Warren here: On the road ahead, there will still be opportunities to fight back. We might not win most of them. But when we arrive at each of those moments, we will have a choice to give up or fight forward. Extremists are counting on us to point fingers at each other and lose trust in our ability to make change. We will continue to fight for each other.

We will return to regular newsletter programming next time.

52 Favorite People, Places and Things

Vanity Fair runs its recurring question feature, “The Proust Questionnaire,” and I just recently learned the weekly online magazine Airmail runs a questionnaire of its own, featuring an alphabetical list of prompts for featured guests. I’m putting the question set to myself, and hoping you will do it, too, so I can learn more about you. It’s fun. It’s easy. Why not?

AIRLINE: ANA (Japanese)
AIRPORT: Singapore Changyi
ALIBI: “Was asleep.”
APP: DayOne
BAG: Clare V crossbody
BEDTIME: 11pm
BIKE: Nishiki Women’s Pueblo
BIRTHDAY: Recent ones, with the costumed theme parties
BREAKFAST, WEEKDAY: Caffeine.
BREAKFAST, WEEKEND: Cafe Laurent’s french toast (made of croissant bits)
CAR: The Jeep Cherokee Sport I drove in high school
CHILDREN: Eva, Isa and Luna
COCKTAIL: Tito’s and tonic
COCKTAIL APPETIZER: Crunchy and salty
COUPLE: Jenn and Drew
DATE: April 25th, because all you need is a light jacket
DIET: Against
DINNER, WEEKDAY: Shake Shack
DINNER, WEEKEND: Sushi
DISGUISE: Giant trench coat, open newspaper
DRESS: Xirena
DRIVE: Tropical tree-lined streets in Kauai
ENEMY: Rick the Prick, the longtime security guy in the Texas Senate
FAMILY: Mine
FIT: High-rise
FOIL: Aluminum.
GIRLFRIEND: Liz Taylor
GOOD-BYE: Warm hugs
HOTEL: Fontainebleu in Miami because it’s so extra
INDULGENCE: Hair blowouts
JACKET: Smythe brand blazers
LAST MEAL: Texas BBQ brisket, garlic naan, a Culvers frozen custard concrete
MOVIE: Office Space
NEIGHBOR: Beto, because he shares his backyard guava and never calls the cops on me
NONFICTION BOOK: All About Love, Bell Hooks
PAIR OF PANTS: Lululemon drawstring pants w/pockets
PAIR OF SHOES: Flats
PEN OR PENCIL: Pen, but I love sharpening pencils
PET: My late cat, Caesar
PIECE OF ADVICE: Don’t live your life for anyone else’s gaze
PRESIDENT: Lincoln
RESTAURANT: The Galley
SAYING: What else could go right?
STREET: Congress Avenue, Austin
TELEVISION SERIES: Mad Men
TIME OF DAY: Dusk
TOAST: Lightly toasted, with butter
VACATION: Beach
WAKE-UP TIME: Weekdays? 7:00 A.M. and not a second earlier
WEEKEND BAG: With wheels
WORK OF ART: Ai Weiwei’s Snake Ceiling

2023 in Review: Hard Launched

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

― Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God

On book release day at CNN in New York, reacting live to host Richard Quest in a Korean jimjilbang

It was the year of Taylormania, the year of ongoing wars and displacement, the hottest year on record (and climbing), the year of Ozempic, the year artificial intelligence advances demonstrated astonishing capabilities and triggered serious concerns. Life comes at you fast. Faster than we can humanly process, I think. The AI field is apparently advancing three times faster than Moore’s Law (in other words, doubling capabilities and speed every six months). In the US, the year started with 17 excruciating ballots to elect Kevin McCarthy as Speaker of the House and it’s ending with him not even serving in the House anymore.

The podcasting industry (ahem, my industry) got clobbered. Companies folded. Spotify laid off hundreds and killed its in-house podcast units, and my longtime employers in public radio laid off swaths of talent. The film industry effectively went on hiatus this summer as both the unions for screenwriters and actors went on strike, which, living in Los Angeles, I saw in my backyard. I even joined in the picketing with my screenwriter partner, until the stalemate with the studios finally, finally came to an end.

My year was about giving my heart and soul to launching and touring my first book. Energy and love came back to me in surprising, rewarding, heartfelt ways. Superstars moderated book talks with me in cities across the country and most recently, in Hong Kong. People like my tax accountant, high school prom date, and my former and current bosses all showed up. I had the great honor of being invited on national broadcasts and podcasts and featured in magazines. I met and corresponded with thousands of readers directly, who shared similar desires to resist factory-issued beauty culture and stand up for bodily autonomy and liberation. Friends and readers, I cannot say thank you enough.

Photo credit: Sarah Makki for LAist

Favorite TED Talks: Research-backed ways to manage pain. Dr. Becky, on repair.

Best gift: Rob wrote me a song about all my paradoxes and performed it with his band at my birthday party

Favorite Film: Past Lives

Firsts: Picket line. Ketamine treatment. Book release. Book tour. Writing a film treatment. Mahjong.

Disappointments: Facebook page got hacked and they couldn’t restore years of photos and videos. Not enough newborn meetups! Have my friends all stopped having little babies?! My opinion piece for the New York Times got spiked at the last minute. I missed my BFF Sudeep’s wedding party in DC because of schedule conflicts.

New cities: Yosemite National Park, though I suppose it’s not a city. Ensenada in Baja California, famous for its blowhole. Isa observed this natural phenomenon sandwiched by Mennonites, which she didn’t even notice because she was so mesmerized by the blowhole.

Isa in Ensenada

Notable New Friend: Janet Yang, who is a force in the entertainment industry, the current head of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences, and walks the walk when it comes to Asian representation and excellence. She’s opened the doors to a network of badass Asian women that I admire and feel fortified and nourished by.

With Janet at one of her mahjong parties

Fave Tennis Player: Daniil Medvedev — he’s blunt, he’s precise, he is genuine. He’s had an incredible year. He has gawky fluidity and a smothering wingspan. All I’ve ever wanted is gawky fluidity. All I have ever been is gawky.

Favorite podcast episode: Radiolab’s episode, The Seagulls, on how same sex behavior is far more common in the animal kingdom than scientists thought. It’s evolutionarily adaptive. Here’s a WaPo story on the same idea.

Purchases and practices that fed me:

  • Iced Honey Lavender Latte from Love Coffee Bar, in LA’s Mar Vista neighborhood. So creamy and so delicious. It better be, because it’s $7.50, not counting the tip.
  • Making Ram-Don, the instant noodle+steak combo popularized in a crucial scene in Parasite. Maangchi teaches it best.
  • Xirena white button down, and I liked it so much I got the same shirt in black

In no particular order, this year I…

Was in the live audience of The Masked Singer, a longtime bucket list item
Released my first book
Toured the book in 14 cities
Sold the film rights to said book(!)
Started a documentary project related to the book
Went to the pop culture event of the year: The Eras Tour
Learned how to play mahjong (poorly)
Dislocated my shoulder (again)
Appeared on 38 podcasts (including three of them I host)
Met two K-pop groups at KCON at the Staples center
Trained 24 times with my personal trainer neighbor two houses down
Got my neck and back cracked three times
Tried ketamine at a sub-anesthetic dose
Threw three big parties, including Deck the Balls, my ball-themed potluck and attended lots of book parties for Flawless and all the food was delicious
Met a member of Mac Sabbath, the McDonald’s+Black Sabbath tribute band
Saw a lot of artists perform live: Depeche Mode, Taylor Swift, Gracie Abrams, HAIM, Rain, XG, ATEEZ
Hosted a parade of friends at my house: Matt Thompson. And Bryan Tradup. And Pamela. And Lawrence and his family. And our staffer Mary. And my unstoppable actor friend Mari.
Returned to Asia for the first time in two years
Went to Washington DC five times
Read 28 books, reviewed a few of them
Attended two weddings: New York (Pamela and Jeff), DC (amy and Alli)
Flew 51,493 miles to 18 cities, five countries and spent 71 days away from home
Reunited with my brother in Hong Kong and visited my parents in Taipei

PREVIOUS YEARS IN REVIEW

2022|2021|2020 |2019 | 2018 | 2017 |  2016 | 2015 | 2014 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010|2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004

Wear Sunscreen

If I have to point to one daily dimension in which South Korea transformed my life, it’s wearing sunscreen. South Koreans protect their skin with a near religious fervor, and it rubbed off on me. (Hehe, pun intended.) Now I am militant about never leaving home without sunscreen on my face and am super serious about putting it on my kids, too. They are better at reapplying sunscreen than brushing and flossing 2x a day.

Asia and Europe seem to have superior sunscreen, because regulatory bodies across both continents allow for more sun protection filters in their sunscreen ingredients and formulations than the US FDA, which has not updated its sunscreen protocols since 1999. Now that Congresswoman AOC is in on the call for better American sunscreen, Vox’s excellent Today Explained podcast made it a topic of its Wednesday show, featuring The Atlantic’s Amanda Mull and me. I join during the second half to gab about South Korean skincare — and why sunscreen is so crucial as part of the Korean skincare routines.

This led some listeners to ask, what Korean sunscreens do you recommend? Well, I’m happy to share! Note: I am not sponsored by any of these brands, they are just the products I use on myself and my children. Among US products, my daughter Eva likes SuperGoop’s ubiquitous Unseen Sunscreen, but I find it too greasy.

MISSHA All Around Safe Block Waterproof Sun Milk 70mL SPF50+/PA++++

MISSHA All Around Safe Block Waterproof Sun Milk 

I wear this everyday, it’s in my purse. It goes on light and smooth. It’s white but rubs in without white residue. It never stings when you sweat or when it washes off in the shower. It’s less than $20. You’ll notice it has a PA++++ factor on the bottle, that’s because sun protection factor (SPF) is a US measurement, while Europe uses the PA followed by +’s standard. Missha is a low-cost “road shop” brand whose backstory I tell in Flawless, my book. 

AHC Natural Perfection Fresh Sun Stick 14g

AHC Natural Perfection Fresh Sun Stick

I loaded up on these sun sticks before I came home from Seoul. They are perfect for kids, so they can apply without the product ever touching their hands. It’s clear and not chalky. Great to use in the summer, and on the go.

INNISFREE Hyaluron Moist Sunscreen SPF50+ PA++++ 50mL

INNISFREE Hyaluron Moist Sunscreen SPF50+ PA++++ 50mL

People outside South Korea seem to have really caught onto Innisfree and its focus on natural ingredients that are gentle on our skin. This is at a slightly higher price point than the Missha I use all the time, and I think it’s because it also has some moisturizing ingredients that consumers really like. If you’re okay with spending a little more, Innisfree’s sunscreen are a good bet. There’s a whole fascinating history of its parent company, Amore Pacific, and how it emerged as the Korean peninsula was being split apart by war and geopolitical factors, which I also detail in Flawless.

TED 2023, By the Numbers

Interviewing the experimental artist Ersin Han Ersin

Hours on the ground in Vancouver: 123.5

Talks watched: 71, but not all in the theater, more often I was watched from the various simulcast lounges all around the convention center “loop”

Interviews with speakers: 7

Talks I really liked: 5

Bobas consumed in Vancouver: 2

Interviews in front of an audience: 1, with Misan Harriman, the first black photographer to shoot the cover of British Vogue

Times I made it to the gym: 1

TikToks made with the TikTok CEO: 1

Al Gore sightings: 1

Esther Perel sightings: 1

Parties: Unknown, but a lot

Average steps per day: 10,356

Moderating a discovery session conversation with photographer Misan Harriman

The TikTok CEO showing us his latest TikTok

The TED Talks Daily crew with artist Wanechi Mutu

On Monterey Park, Parenting, and the New Year

Monterey Park, California, USA, is the heart of the Chinese/Taiwanese/Cantonese American diaspora in Southern California. I know it because my parents know it. Because they have friends there, or friends of friends there, because first generation immigrants either settled or found community there. As The Washington Post put it:

“Here between the snow-capped San Gabriel Mountains and downtown Los Angeles is a place that decades ago made history, becoming the nation’s first Asian-majority city after years of determined emigration from Taiwan, Hong Kong and mainland China.

Now its history includes a grimmer development, one it shares with an increasing collection of American cities and suburbs.”

On Sunday we were planning to go there — my younger daughters were performing in their Mandarin language choir, as part of day two of the biggest Lunar New Year festival in the area. It was the first time Monterey Park was putting on the festival in three years, given all the COVID-related closures.

That “Monterey Park” and “massacre” are now in the same sentence, and that 20 people were shot at a ballroom dance studio where boomers were enjoying movement and community on Lunar New Year’s Eve, is absolutely gutting. It was the 33rd mass shooting in America in 2023.

The LA Times covered how we talked to our kids about it and snatched a little meaning and togetherness in a time of sorrow, as the moms who also had kids performing decided to come together and grieve together on Sunday with a play date and lunch at the park. It felt bonding, having to hold this difficult tragedy and our fears and grief about it, alongside the more mundane daily rituals of care. Today I appeared on a panel for MSNBC about what happened, with a gun control activist mom who discussed what to do now.

My youngest daughter, the five-year-old Luna, was the most sanguine about the cancelation of the festival, reminding the rest of us, “Don’t worry, there are LOTS of Lunar New Year performances, we’ll perform again!”

Another celebration, at the Buddhist temple, went on as planned