That Time We Went to Honduras for a Weekend


As our spankin’ new Boeing was descending into the US after a couple of days getting raped by mosquitoes in Honduras, I was suddenly awakened by the most searing pain I’ve ever felt. It was only on one side of my head, somewhere around my brow and behind my right eye. I later learned it had to do with sinus pressure and the quickly changing altitude of the jet. Apparently I was sick and congested and only then, as my eye teared uncontrollably and I curled up in wrenching pain, that I realized my sinuses were THAT backed up.

24 hours later I was checked into the hospital because they seem to take things like phlegmy lungs and not-breathing-very-well quite seriously when you are six months pregnant. I had to watch Jeopardy cause I didn’t expect to get admitted, so I didn’t pack any diversions. I also got wheeled around in a stupid gown and padded booties because it’s hospital policy to not let people walk on their own. The X-ray tech gave me two blankets to cover up before our wheelchair journey. “There are a lot of pervs in this hospital,” she said. I laughed. “No, I’m serious,” she said, without any irony. Yikes.

But anyway, the time in Honduras was fun. The food was surprisingly delicious. Our resort complex boasted the only real BBQ pit/smoker on the island. Excellent pulled pork.

Here I Sit, On Temptation Island

All aboard the twin engine plane by SOSA Aerolineas. Audrey was praying. I was sweating.

We learned from our condo caretaker Kent that one of the three seasons of the now defunct reality show, Temptation Island, was shot here on Roatan, where my friend Audrey and I are spending the weekend.

ROATAN, ISLA DE BAHIAS, HONDURAS — This is what it took to get here: A 5:30am flight out of DCA that we nearly missed because Audrey had set out her things to pack the night before but did not actually pack bags until I got to her house to pick her up for the airport. She had accidentally fallen asleep and ended up assembling her things in the span of 18 minutes that I gave her before I was going to head to the airport without her.

From DCA we flew to Houston, made a quick connection and then both got our first class upgrades for the longer flight into San Pedro Sula. The guy sitting next to me was super friendly and Audrey thought he might be with a drug cartel. We know not…

Arrive in San Pedro Sula to a customs area without a ceiling. Good thing we were the first off the plane because the customs situation was not swift.

Had three hours to kill before our flight to the islands. Filled the time the following ways:

A great way to pass the time at an airport.

1.) Laying out in the grass outside the airport watching some Hondurans load a casket into a truck

2.) Eating at the Wendy’s at the airport and not getting change cause they didn’t have it, later being asked to sign a guest book with comments about the food. (I just put Buen Provecho cause it’s something I learned in Spanish class.)

3.) Doing tricep dips off the airport chairs because they are the perfect height for tricep dips and Matty never lets me do them while traveling with him because he thinks I look like a total idiot. Audrey gamely joined, then…

4) Doing a set of wall sits for one minute each, also to pass the time.

5) Buying some really ugly postcards. How come all the postcards here have sexy ladies on them? I want just one, good environmental shot.

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