I read this hilarious theory about Beethoven and Fur Elise, meaning “For Elise,” the title of his infamous composition often featured on cell phone rings and the song after which I was named.

“Historical evidence will eventually prove that there was a girl named Elise that was proving very hard to fuck, so Beethoven finally had to play the piece in public. It was probably at this point that he got that scowl that we see him with in almost every representation of the man. He was giving up his best seduction method and deaf. One or the other would be bad enough, but the combination of both probably kept him pissed until the day he died. “

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